This weekend’s newspaper column from The Daily Journal (Kankakee, Ill.) and The Times (Ottawa, Ill.) …

Thoughts on perfection … and the Cubs

The WISCH LIST

April 28, 2012

This past Monday on the “Late Show with David Letterman,” Chicago White Sox perfectionist Philip Humber shared a Top 10 list of “thoughts” that crossed his mind while on the mound Sunday afternoon.

But, really, to understand Humber’s perfect game there’s only one thing that you truly need to know: There have been more people to orbit the moon than pitch a perfecto.

And the moon men are still leading by three.

During NASA’s Apollo missions, just 24 men circled the moon, the last one in 1972. However, despite being given four uncontested decades to catch up to Apollo’s lead, the number of major leaguers to toss a perfect game still stands at a mere 21.

Pitching perfect is one of the most difficult feats to accomplish in sports. And although you need only to know that piece of moon trivia to understand its magnitude, I still wanted to help, well, perfect your knowledge with my own Top 5 list of facts about the perfect game, as well as its more common cousin, the no-hitter. So, here’s the windup …

The Perfect Club

During baseball’s modern era, only 19 pitchers have tossed perfect games and they can be placed into four categories.

There are the “Greats” with Hall of Famers Cy Young, Addie Joss, Jim Bunning, Sandy Koufax and Catfish Hunter, as well as HOF shoo-in Randy Johnson. There are the “Very Goods” with Roy Halladay, David Cone, Dennis Martinez, Kenny Rogers, David Wells and Mark Buehrle. And there are the “Solids” with Mike Witt and Tom Browning.

Then there are the “Say Whats?” which has to include Humber, who had only an 11-10 record in 30 career starts. Humber’s perfect peers include the Yankees’ Don Larsen, the White Sox’s Charlie Robertson, Cleveland’s Len Barker and Oakland’s Dallas Braden, who each had sub-.500 career marks at their moments of greatness.

The Golden Age of Perfection

Since just July 2009, there have been a whopping four perfect games thrown. How remarkable is that? By comparison, there previously have been spans of 23 and 33 consecutive seasons pass without a single perfect game.

Now, that’s Old Style

Lee Richmond of the Worcester Ruby Legs and John Montgomery Ward of the Providence Grays were the first two men throw perfect games, both in 1880. But baseball’s rules back then were, well, a tad different than today.

In 1880, pitchers were only allowed to pitch underhand from a flat, marked-out box located 45 feet from home plate. It took eight balls to draw a walk, and batters hit by a pitch didn’t get first base.

Sounds more like beer league than big league.

No-No comparison

Since 1876, there have been just 273 no-hitters with only 7.7 percent of them being perfect games, as well.

The most no-hitters thrown in one season during the modern era is seven (1990 and 1991), while the longest stretch between any two was the three years, 44 days between Bobby Burke’s no-no on August 8, 1931, and Paul “Daffy” Dean’s on September 21, 1934.

The hit kings

It often seems as if the Cubs can’t hit at all. But the team actually owns the record for the longest streak without being no-hit in a game – and it’s still ongoing.
Since falling victim to Sandy Koufax’s perfect game on Sept. 9, 1965, the Cubs have scratched out at least a single in every contest since. That’s a run of more than 46 years and 7,350 games, including the postseason, which broke the Yankees’ 44-year, 263-day streak from Sept. 21, 1958, to June 10, 2003.

A nice notch in the Cubs’ belt. But don’t compare the rings on their fingers.

This weekend’s column from The Daily Journal (Kankakee, Ill.) and The Times (Ottawa, Ill.) …

It’s a funny week in ‘The Funniest City in the World’

The WISCH LIST

April 21, 2012

Across the country, Chicago is known for a lot of things.

Its pizza … Its skyscrapers … Its bad baseball.

And also its comedy.

Recently billed by Chicago Magazine as “the funniest city in the world,” Chicago saw comedic roots first sprout on Dec. 16, 1959, when The Second City Theatre opened its doors at 1616 N. Wells St. and proceeded to launch a laugh-out-loud revolution.

Since that debut evening, the legendary improvisational venue in Chicago’s Old Town neighborhood has gone on to spawn the careers of countless comedians. In fact, the list of Second City alumni composes a veritable “Who’s Who” of American comedy during the past half century.

Among its list of notable names in those early years, you’ll find Alan Arkin (Class of 1960), Fred Willard (’65), John Belushi (’71) and John Candy (’73). In 1974, a star-studded class brought us Dan Aykroyd, Eugene Levy and Gilda Radner, who were immediately followed by George Wendt in ’75 and Shelley Long in ’76.

Cheers to that.

Two years later, in 1978, the Second City introduced us to Jim Belushi. I’ll forgive the theatre for that one, but only because in the 1980s it also gave the world Mike Myers (’88) and Chris Farley (’89). During that decade, Bonnie Hunt (’86) and Tim Meadows (’89) also graced its stage.

In the ’90s, future stars just kept rolling through The Second City with Steve Carrell (’91), Amy Sedaris (’92), Stephen Colbert (’93), Rachel Dratch (’95) and Tina Fey (’96) all joking their way to fame.

Today, aspiring comics continue to launch their careers at the Second City and other clubs throughout Chicago. But the city never features more of them at once that next week when the 15th annual Chicago Improv Festival (April 23-29) assumes control of venues across the city, and at Laugh Out Loud in Schaumburg.

This year’s festival – which says its mission is to “celebrate the present, honor the past, and showcase the future of improvisational theatre” – features more than 80 groups from five countries. Tickets are $10 to $20 per show, with the festival’s busiest (and reportedly best) nights expected to be Friday and Saturday. A full schedule of show times, along with more info, can be found at chicagoimprovfestival.org.

Among the shows that sound most entertaining is “Bassprov,” an act featuring two men from a small town in Indiana who fish, drink beer and talk about how to fix the world. The entire show features them on a fishing trip.

“Border Patrol,” meanwhile, features a six-man team – made up of Americans from Bellingham, Wash., and Canadians from Edmonton – who surely crack plenty of regional jokes about each other. And “Improptop,” hailing from Mexico City, has apparently earned standing ovations for their last two Chicago Improv Festival performances as they poke fun at Mexican folklore and, interestingly, the Broadway musical.

Now, if you can’t make it to any of the shows in Chicago this week, don’t fret. This city will still be busting guts for the rest of the spring – and well beyond. In fact, Los Angeles’ famous Laugh Factory just opened in the newly renovated Lakeshore Theater (3175 N. Broadway) with its owner promising such acts as Tim Allen, Dave Chappelle, Carlos Mencia and Bob Saget will be taking its stage. Just down the street from Second City, Zanies (1548 N. Wells St.) is the best place to find a classic stand-up act.

And lesser-known venues such as The Annoyance Theatre & Bar (annoyanceproductions.com), Chicago Underground Comedy (chicagoundergroundcomedy.com), IO (ioimprov.com/Chicago) and ComedySportz (comedysportzchicago.com) are also always good for a laugh.

Or, you know, a dozen.

This weekend’s column from The Daily Journal (Kankakee, Ill.) and The Times (Ottawa, Ill.) …

Will Castro controversy finally force Ozzie to clam up?

By Dave Wischnowsky

The WISCH LIST

April 14, 2012

During his tempestuous tenure with the Chicago White Sox, Ozzie Guillen could often be quite difficult to fully understand. But the problem with the controversial comments that Guillen made about as regularly as pitching changes was rarely the translation from Spanish to English.

Rather, it Ozzie’s own translation from dumb to stupid.

Last week, just a few days after being introduced to their baseball team’s new manager, the residents of Miami officially met Ozzie Guillen.

With his dumb – and stupid – “I love Fidel Castro” comments published in Time Magazine, Floridians quickly discovered just what the Mouth of the South (Side or Beach) is really all about.

Bienvenidos a Miami, Ozzie.

And Miami? Bienvenidos a Ozzie.

But as Guillen sits out a five-game suspension for his remarks, the most intriguing question as we move forward is whether this incident will finally force the Miami Sound Machine to change his tune and actually watch his mouth.

Beyond that, is he even capable?

This past Monday, Chicago Tribune baseball writer Phil Rogers pointed out that Guillen’s Castro comments were really nothing out of the ordinary for the fiery Venezuelan.

“A Time Magazine reporter simply didn’t do Guillen the favor that so many of us have done on an almost daily basis around the ballpark, letting his stream-of-consciousness rambling go in one ear and out the other,” Rogers explained.

Nor was this instance even the first time that Guillen had publicly professed his admiration for the Cuban strongman. In September 2008, while interviewing Guillen for a Q&A that ran in Men’s Journal, Chicago Sun-Times columnist Rick Telander asked, “Who’s the toughest man you know?”

Guillen replied: “Fidel Castro.” And when asked why, the White Sox manager elaborated, “He’s a (expletive) dictator and everybody’s against him, and he still survives, has power. Still has a country behind him. Everywhere he goes, they roll out the red carpet. I don’t admire his philosophy; I admire him.’’

Guillen’s own carpet wasn’t pulled out from under him with those comments because he was managing in Chicago at the time. But for him to echo those same sentiments while now managing for the Marlins – who built their new ballpark in Miami’s Little Havana neighborhood – is almost beyond comprehension.

More than 850,000 Cuban-Americans live in the Miami area, and for Guillen to praise the brutal dictator who drove many of them from their homeland and killed countless others is about as bright as Penn State’s new football coach announcing after a week on the job how he, in fact, has great admiration for Jerry Sandusky.

That’s not going to go over well.

With a World Series ring on his finger, Guillen may be a talented baseball manager. But throughout his career he’s never proven himself to be particularly bright, although his right-hand man, Joey Cora, who will manage the Marlins during Guillen’s absence, believes this verbal misstep will change him.

“I think he learned a lesson on this one,” said Cora, who added that he sensed a difference in Ozzie’s demeanor after the Castro story broke. “I’m pretty sure he’s a better man today than he was yesterday. He learned from this one …

“I’m pretty sure he won’t get into this kind of trouble anymore. This was big, and he felt it from the beginning. … Hopefully he makes amends with the community, and he will.”

Guillen, who has always done his share of charitable work, no doubt will try to make amends in South Florida. But there’s only one surefire way for us to know if Ozzie truly has changed.

And that’s if we don’t hear from him at all.

Will Ozzie Guillen finally zip his lip?

This week’s newspaper column from The Daily Journal (Kankakee, Ill.) and The Times (Ottawa, Ill.) …

Chicago’s oldest churches fan flames of worship

The WISCH LIST

April 7, 2012

Come Sunday morning, Christians far, wide and reading this column will flock to churches to celebrate the greatest resurrection story of all-time.

Coincidentally – or perhaps not at all – when The Great Fire swept through Chicago in 1871 and ultimately sparked the city’s own remarkable resurrection, three of the mere handful of public buildings to “survive” in the vicinity of the inferno’s disaster zone were churches.

One of them, Holy Family Church, located at 1080 W. Roosevelt Road, stood just a few blocks from the barn of congregants Patrick and Catherine O’Leary, whose cow went to be blamed for starting the Great Fire.

By surviving the blaze, Holy Family went on to become known as “The Miracle of Roosevelt Road” thanks to the tale that the church’s Father Arnold Damen invoked the aid of Our Lady of Perpetual Help by promising to light seven candles before her statue if the building was spared. Soon, the winds shifted and the church indeed was saved. To this day, seven electric lights still burn at Our Lady’s shrine located in the eastern wing of the church.

Founded in 1857, Holy Family stands as one of the oldest churches in Chicago and here on Easter Eve, I thought I’d share with you some additional facts about some of the Windy City’s most historic churches.

Holy Family Church

The Great Chicago Fire survivor story isn’t the only interesting thing about the story of Holy Family. Last October, the church enjoyed another unique chapter when its 12-foot-high, 600-pound wooden front doors were renovated after 151 years of withstanding harsh Midwestern elements.

In February 2011, when the notorious “Snowmageddon” blizzard struck Chicago, the doors at Holy Family couldn’t be closed completely, allowing three feet of snow to pile up inside the entrance of the church.

“They’re the oldest working doors on a public building in the city,” Holy Family’s Rev. Jeremiah Boland told the Chicago Sun-Times as the doors reinstalled after having been re-stained and outfitted with new brass fittings that he said should last for another 150 years.

“Our doors will always be wide open,” Boland added, before quipping, “But now we’ll also be able to close them.”

Old St. Patrick’s Church

Commonly known as “Old St. Pat’s,” the historic church located at 700 W. Adams St. was founded on Easter Sunday, April 12, 1846, as the first English-speaking parish in the city.

On May 23, 1853, the cornerstone for the Old St. Pat’s current Romanesque building was laid. The church was officially dedicated on Christmas Day 1856, and 15 years later it would dodge the Great Chicago Fire’s path of flames by just two blocks.

Today, the church stands as the oldest public building in Chicago and each summer plays host to a fundraiser known as “Old St. Pat’s Block Party,” which it also bills as the world’s largest.

Fourth Presbyterian Church

Founded on June 26, 1833, and located at 6400 S. Kimbark Ave. on the South Side since 1926, First Presbyterian Church is Chicago’s oldest Protestant church. But with its high-profile location at 190 E. Delaware Place just off North Michigan Avenue, Fourth Presbyterian is perhaps the city’s most recognizable Protestant cathedral.

Ironically, Fourth Presbyterian dedicated its original church on Sunday, Oct. 8, 1871 – the same day as the beginning of the Great Chicago Fire.

The blaze promptly destroyed the new building, but by 1874 the congregation had built a new church. In 1912, it then opened its current location along what is now the Magnificent Mile, and with the exception of the Chicago Water Tower, the church is the oldest structure on Michigan Avenue.

This weekend’s newspaper column from The Daily Journal (Kankakee, Ill.) and The Times (Ottawa, Ill.) …

As we enter April, Chicago is in full bloom

The WISCH LIST

March 31, 2012

Earlier this week, a friend of mine said he’s tired of March.

Let’s proceed into April.

Come Sunday, the calendar will grant his wishes as we flip the page to April 1 and thus enter the first full month of spring for 2012.

Considering that another friend said this week that springtime in Chicago is better than springtime in most other places, I thought I’d give you a variety of reasons to visit over the next few weeks as the Windy City as reaches full bloom.

Cubs and White Sox home openers
April 5 & April 8

At 1:20 p.m. on Thursday, the Cubs will begin their 136th season of baseball in Chicago, and they’ll be doing so at 1800s prices.

Well, not really, but you’d be shocked at how cheap Cubs tickets – not long ago the hottest item in the city – are selling online right now.

Quite remarkably, scads of bleacher tickets for the Cubs’ season opener vs. the Milwaukee Brewers were still available for at cubs.com as of late this week. Meanwhile, at stubhub.com, tickets for mid-week April games at Wrigley are selling for as low as $2.

Yes, two bucks.

Meanwhile, on the South Side of town, at 1:10 p.m. on Friday, April 13, the White Sox will hold their home opener at U.S. Cellular Field on against the powerhouse Detroit Tigers.

Tickets are still available for that game at whitesox.com and at stubhub.com other April Sox games are selling for as low as $4 – twice as much as the cheapest Cubs ticket.

That’s certainly something new.

Skating in the Sky
Through April 8

For those who want to look at a springtime Chicago while still pretending its winter have one week left to do so via “Skating in the Sky” at the John Hancock Center on Michigan Avenue, where the flowers boxes are beginning to bloom.

Through April 8, visitors to the skyscraper’s 94th floor observatory can skate on the synthetic indoor rink offering sweeping views of the city and Lake Michigan from more than 1,000 feet above street level.

The venue, billed as the “highest skating rink in the world,” offers 25-minute skating session for $5, on top Hancock’s general $15 admission for ages 12 and up and $10 for ages 3 to 11. Skate rental is available for $1.

For hours and additional information, visit jhochicago.com.

Chicago Golden Gloves
April 11-14

Since 1923, the Windy City has hosted the Chicago Golden Gloves boxing tournament with the intent of instilling discipline and self-respect among impressionable youth.

During that time, the event has crowned champions such as Cassius Clay, Joe Louis and Sonny Liston, as well as former Illinois Attorney General Jim Ryan, DuPage County State’s Attorney Joe Birkett, Baltimore Ravens’ safety Tommy Zbikowski and Michael Flatley.

Yes, the “Lord of the Dance.”

This year’s Golden Gloves Championships are held at Gordon Tech College Prep, located at 3533 N. California Ave. For more information, visit chicagogoldengloves.com.

Chicago International Movies and Music Festival
April 14-17

Promoting itself as “where movies and music meet,” the fourth annual CIMMfest is a four-day showcase of films, concerts, Q&A’s and a variety of other performances that “show just what movies and music mean to each other.”

Held at a variety of theaters, bars, galleries and other venues in Chicago’s eclectic Wicker Park and Logan Square neighborhoods, the festival shows films by day and features live music at night. The films come from countries across the map and range from documentaries to fiction and more. The musical performances are inspired by film or feature visual accompaniment.

For more information and a full lineup of events, visit cimmfest.org.