In honor of “Leap Day,”  I thought I’d run this column, which was originally published eight years ago in 2004 in The Daily Times (Ottawa, Ill.) and later that year in my book, “Northern IlliNOISE: Tales of a Territory” …

A Leap of Fate

The WISCH LIST

Feb. 23, 2004

Mary Lu Conness of Ottawa is married, has three children …

And come this Sunday, she’ll turn 12 years old.

Now, before you go jumping to any conclusions, try something else.

Leap to them, instead.

“I hear it all the time, all the time,” Conness said with a chuckle about the good-natured ribbing always associated with hers, the most peculiar of birthdays.

That being, Feb. 29.

Leap Day.

Since a normal year is actually more than 365 days — 365.242190, to be exact — every fourth year an extra day is tacked on to the month of February to round things out in an astronomical sort of way. So, like presidential elections, the Summer Olympics and high school graduation, Conness gets to enjoy her actual birthday only once every four years.

And, naturally, when the big day does roll around, it’s a big to-do.

“Ever since I went to grade school (in Chicago), kids would say ‘You’re turning 2 or you’re turning 4,’ ” said Conness, who will actually be turning 48 on Sunday. “There was always a surprise birthday party when I was growing up. The kids would always get into it, and even the teachers.”

Yes, with a birthday such as hers, you could say that Mary Lu Conness is one in a million.

Except, that she isn’t.

Instead, she’s one in 10 — million, that is.

“The really ironic thing is that my dad was born on Feb. 29 also,” Conness said about her late father, Edward Hughes of Chicago, with whom she took an enormous leap of fate. “There’s a 1 in 10 million chance — that’s what they put in the (Chicago) Tribune a few years ago — that a father and a child will both be born on Leap Year.”

Yep, when Mary Lu entered the world on Feb. 29, 1956, remarkably her father was blowing out the candles for birthday, as well.

His ninth birthday.

“He was born in 1920,” Conness said with a laugh about her dad. “So, yeah, he was 9 when he had me.

“He was a young father.”

Based on the latest figures, only about 200,000 people in the United States and approximately 4.1 million around the world were born Feb. 29.

And when Conness was born in ’56, those numbers were likely even lower, meaning that her family probably had the market pretty much cornered on Leap Year Babies in the Windy City during those days.

As a result, she and her father’s quantum leap made for some fun celebrations.

“He’d always receive phone calls,” Conness said about her father and the buzz surrounding their colossally coincidental birthday. “Guys from home, guys from college … And we’d always talk about who would come out on top with phone calls and cards that day … My father has now passed away, but my mom still feels that the 29th is such a big deal.”

She’s not the only one.

“My kids get a real charge out of it too,” Conness said about her three children, John, 16, Patrick, 15, and, especially, Mary Kate.

Who’s 12.

The same age that her mother will be this weekend.

“(On Sunday) I’ll be the same age as my daughter,” Conness said. “She’s excited, telling me ‘Mom, we’ll be the same age!’ But then she says, ‘I’ll be 13 in April, so then I’ll be older than you. But for a couple months we’ll be the same age.’ “

Today’s column from The Daily Journal (Kankakee, Ill.) and The Times (Ottawa, Ill.) …

The next Illini basketball coach better have wings

The WISCH LIST

Feb. 25, 2012

Caught in a nosedive so steep that it can’t seem to pull out no matter how hard Bruce Weber tugs on the busted controls, the University of Illinois basketball program is almost surely going to be hiring a new captain this spring.

But, when it does, Illini athletic director Mike Thomas should make sure the guy has his wings.

In the past week, Illinois hoops fans have watched with dismay as the Fighting Illini completely lost their fight during lopsided losses at Nebraska and Ohio State. Having now dropped six games in a row and eight of the past nine, this team hasn’t just burst its NCAA Tournament bubble heading into Sunday’s game against Iowa at Assembly Hall (5 p.m., BTN).

It’s popped the balloon on Weber’s job stability, as well.

As a result, the remainder of this 2011-12 basketball season is no longer about what’s happening now at Illinois. Rather, it’s about what will happen next.

And as speculation has begun to buzz about who could, should or would succeed Weber in Champaign, I’ve already found myself taking issue with some of the proposed coaching candidates.

Namely, those who aren’t college head coaches at all.

This week, for example, Comcast SportsNet Chicago’s Sam Aggrey was asked by an emailer, “I’ve heard rumors that Simeon [High School] coach Robert Smith could be in line for the Illinois job, have you heard anything and would he be a good fit there?”

Aggrey replied that “if Illinois came calling, [Smith] would have to listen,” before wisely adding, “But despite his success, the university might think it’s too big of a leap to go from coaching in the Chicago Public League’s Red-South division to the Big Ten.”

And indeed it would be. Hiring a high school coach, no matter how accomplished – and Smith undoubtedly is that, with four state titles – to be the head coach at a major college is folly. Just ask Notre Dame, who in 1981 hired Cincinnati Moeller football coach Gerry Faust after he had won five Ohio state titles in six seasons, only to see him go 30-26-1 during five years in South Bend.

Hiring Smith as Illinois’ head coach would be a mistake. Same goes for the apple of some other Illini fans’ eyes: current Illinois assistant Jerrance Howard. This past week it was suggested to me that Illinois fire Weber immediately so the 31-year-old Howard could have a “tryout” during the season’s final few games.

But I see no benefit in that. Quite simply, Howard needs to first show that he’s a head coach at all before becoming a candidate to be a head coach in the Big Ten. And he isn’t going to prove that this season in a handful of meaningless games with an Illini roster that’s mentally exhausted.

But even if the Illini did play better under Howard, what would that really show? After all, Mike Quade’s Cubs went 23-14 after he took over for Lou Piniella in 2010, but Quade proved to be a terrible hire.

By giving Howard a “tryout,” Illinois would only give him false hope that he could win the job. Then when he didn’t, a certain segment of the Illini fan base and perhaps Howard himself, would be angry and insulted.

It’s best for Illinois to simply let Weber finish out the season – it will be over soon enough – and then hire a new, proven head coach. Then, if that coach is smart, he’ll try to retain Howard as an assistant and perhaps even convince Robert Smith to join his staff, as well.

And, that, to me is an idea that could truly fly.

Find Chicago’s bleeding hearts at Tommy Gun’s Garage

The WISCH LIST

Feb. 18, 2011

At Tommy Gun’s Garage, Valentine’s Day isn’t for the faint of heart. But on Tuesday night, the longtime “speakeasy” in Chicago’s Far South Loop was certainly good for a laugh.

Or, you know, 30.

This week, while countless other couples throughout Chicagoland were dining by candlelight, my girlfriend and I instead chose to spend our Valentine’s Day evening in a different setting.

We enjoyed dinner lit by gunfire.

But, believe me, there was also plenty of romance – that of Chicago’s 1920s-era variety – at Tommy Gun’s, the city’s longest-running audience interactive dinner show which this year celebrates its 25th anniversary.

Located at 2114 S. Wabash Ave. in a nondescript brick building that even Elliot Ness would pass by, Tommy Gun’s was founded in 1987, but the joint exists in the Roaring Twenties. Upon entering – after you’ve given “Gloves” the doorman the password – visitors are instantly transported back to the age of Prohibition, when mobsters and molls ruled the Windy City.

Inside the venue, you’ll encounter wisecracking wiseguys with names such as “Buggsy,” “Knuckles” and “Rocco” and smart-aleck flappers like “Kitty” and “Roxy,” who not only take your dinner orders, but also leap up on stage to sing and dance and all that jazz.

The lively two-hour show ($65 per person) is hosted by Tommy Gun’s maître d’ “Vito Calamari,” who carries around a wooden baseball bat and, if you happen get up to use the restroom, is liable to steal your seat and try to steal your date.

Twice, in my case.

Each year on Valentine’s Day, Tommy Gun’s adds a macabre twist to its standard song and dance by ending its show with a re-enactment of the infamous “St. Valentine’s Day Massacre,” which took place on Chicago’s North Side on Feb. 14, 1929.

Back then, Al Capone’s gang was at war with George “Bugs” Moran for control of the city’s bootlegging market. Not long before Valentine’s Day, Moran and one of his henchmen had murdered a Capone associate, prompting Capone to decide that enough was enough.

In an attempt to eliminate Moran, Capone arranged to have him informed that a special shipment of bootleg whiskey would be shipped to a garage at 2122 N. Clark St. owned by Moran. When seven of Moran’s associates arrived at the location, four of Capone’s men stormed in posing as police officers conducting a raid.

The “cops” lined Moran’s men against a wall, pulled machine guns out from beneath their overcoats and opened fire. Moran was not present and survived. Capone, meanwhile, was in Florida and police were unable to link him to the crime. In fact, no one was ever tried in the killings.

The garage where the massacre took place, known as “SMC Cartage Company,” was torn down in 1967. Today, the lot is occupied by a Chicago Housing Authority development for seniors, although the bricks from the wall against which the victims were lined up has gone on an odd post-demolition journey.

Canadian businessman George Patey first bought the wall’s bricks at an auction and then reassembled them in the men’s room of his Banjo Palace nightclub in Vancouver. Reportedly, the bricks became a urinal wall that featured, um, conveniently placed targets.

In 1976, the Banjo Palace closed and the wall was again put up for auction, one brick at a time. Today, some of those bricks have been reassembled inside the new Mob Museum in Las Vegas, which happens to have celebrated its grand opening this week.

On Valentine’s Day.

For more information, visit tommygunsgarage.com or call 733-RAT-A-TAT. The theater includes a parking lot and is located near Lake Shore Drive and the Stevenson Expressway (I-55).

Today’s newspaper column from The Daily Journal (Kankakee, Ill.) and The Times (Ottawa, Ill.) …

Looking for love on the Illinois’ sports scene

The WISCH LIST

Feb. 11, 2012

It’s just three days until Valentine’s Day, but I’m having a hard time finding the love.

For the state’s sports teams, that is.

Right now, the Illini basketball program is stuck in neutral, at best. Reverse, at worst. As spring training approaches, both the Cubs and the White Sox appear to be in rebuilding modes not seen around these parts since after the Great Chicago Fire.

Up at Halas Hall, the Bears have changed general managers, but it’s unclear if they’ve actually changed direction. And out on the ice, the Blackhawks seem to have slipped. Badly.

But, hey, as V-Day nears, we can at least say thanks to the Bulls giving us a Rose.

And with that, I wanted to share with you a few more thoughts. All from the heart, of course.

Delayed sales? That’s the ticket

Last year, single-game tickets for the Chicago Cubs went on sale on Feb. 25. This year, according to the ballclub, it won’t happen until March 9.

That’s almost two weeks later than usual and less than a month before Opening Day, set for April 5 at Wrigley Field.

So, what’s the deal with the delay?

Well, I don’t know for sure, but my suspicion is that it’s a sign of just how concerned the Cubs are about ticket sales this season. Last year, after the North Siders tumbled out of the division race – and, really, well before that – fans were steering clear of Wrigley in numbers not seen for ages.

With Theo Epstein’s new regime making it quite clear that the Cubs aren’t really trying to compete in 2012, the demand for tickets is likely to be even cooler now. My guess is that the Cubs are hoping that by pushing back the sales date for single game tickets, more fans will get antsy and buy the “9-Game Packs” the team has promoted since January.

Come March, it’ll be interesting to see if Cubs tickets are a hit. Or if the team strikes out.

Miami takes Chicago

Ozzie Guillen went there. Mark Buehrle followed him. And then so did Carlos Zambrano.

This offseason, the newly named Miami Marlins have been attracting Chicago’s biggest baseball names like they’re snowbirds from New York. And now, it appears that MLB’s new big spenders – exactly where are the Marlins getting all this money? – may pluck another star from the Windy City before he even arrived in Chicago.

According to a report in the Orlando Sun-Sentinel, Yoenis Cespedes, the 26-year-old hotshot Cuban defector that both the Cubs and White Sox have reportedly been targeting as the future of their outfield, is likely headed to the Marlins for a four-year deal worth up to $40 million.

With neither the Cubs nor the Sox putting much star power on the field right now, Cespedes would have given fans a reason to pay attention. Instead, though, it appears the Marlins will be the ones paying him.

Somehow.

Illini sing the blues

Ron Zook is out in Champaign. And it’s looking increasingly likely that Bruce Weber may soon follow him.

If new Illinois athletic director Mike Thomas does make that call, it brings up an interesting question. Has any major-conference AD fired both his football and men’s basketball coaches in the same season before? Perhaps it has happened (I couldn’t track down an example), but find it unlikely that any AD has turned that trick in his first year.

With Jolette Law’s women’s basketball program also struggling, however, it’s possible Thomas could fire all three of Illinois’ highest profile coaches in the span of just a few months.

And I can’t imagine that’s ever happened before.

From the Saturday, Feb. 4, editions of The Daily Journal (Kankakee, Ill.) and The Times (Ottawa, Ill.) …

Shadowing the colorful past of Lake Shore Drive

The WISCH LIST

Feb. 4, 2012

This year, Groundhog Day didn’t repeat itself.

Thank goodness.

On Feb. 2, one year ago, I was bundled up like an Eskimo and hiking along a barren Lake Shore Drive as I explored Chicago after “Snowmaggedon,” the infamous blizzard that dumped more than 21 inches of the white stuff on the city over a three-day stretch.

This year, with temperatures in the 50s, I half wanted to drive LSD down to North Avenue to spend the day at the beach.

Shadows, or no shadows.

Last year’s historic snowstorm paralyzed Chicagoland for days, most notoriously putting Lake Shore Drive itself into a deep freeze as hundreds of cars were left stranded by the Arctic blast featuring 70 mph winds off Lake Michigan.

Groundhog Day 2011 was a particularly bad one for America’s Greatest Roadway, which has since become wiser with the installation of removable barriers to reroute traffic and additional cameras to monitor weather conditions.

Last weekend, however, I drove LSD on one of its better days – for January, at least – and afterward dug into, not snow, but its history …

Driving along … LED?

Lake Shore Drive has always been along Chicago’s lakeshore, of course. But it hasn’t always been Lake Shore Drive.

When the thoroughfare’s downtown stretch first opened in 1937, the roadway was actually named Leif Ericson Drive after the legendary Norse explorer who is regarded as the first European to have landed in North America (reaching Newfoundland), a good 500 hundred years before Christopher Columbus.

The road was also referred to as Field Boulevard for a time before it was officially renamed Lake Shore Drive in 1946.

Palmer’s personal driveway

Lake Shore Drive actually traces its origins to the colossal political clout of famed Windy City businessman Potter Palmer (1826-1902), who was responsible for much of the development of State Street and for whom Chicago’s iconic Palmer House Hotel is named.

In the early 1880s, Palmer strong-armed the city into building a street adjacent to his lakefront property in order to enhance its value. In 1882, he then went on to begin construction of an opulent “castle,” completing it in 1885 at a cost of more than $1 million.

At the time, the mansion – located at present-day 1350 N. Lake Shore Drive – was the largest private residence in Chicago and established city’s upscale “Gold Coast” neighborhood.

Its design was reportedly based on a German castle and featured a three-story central hall under a glass dome, along with rooms decorated in various historic styles. They included a Louis XVI salon, an Indian room, a Renaissance library and a Moorish room where the rugs were saturated with perfumes.
Palmer’s castle, which was demolished in 1951, also featured an 80-foot spiral staircase, two elevators and outside doors that had no locks or knobs. The only way to get in was to be admitted from the inside.

Or, perhaps, by drawbridge.

The inners and outers of LSD

Originally, Palmer’s personal roadway was intended for the wealthy to take leisurely rides in their carriages. But, as the age of the automobile dawned, it took on a different role.

Today, Lake Shore Drive is actually two completely separate roads. There’s the outer drive that runs express from Chicago’s South Side up to Hollywood Avenue in the Edgewater neighborhood and provides sweeping views of the skyline and lakefront.

But Palmer’s original inner (or local) drive still exists, as well, extending from downtown in Streeterville to North Avenue before it ends and reappears at Diversey Parkway, continuing north to its terminus at Irving Park Road.

The road is still home to expensive homes and high-rises, but this year, (almost) no snow.